I was walking out of a Chapters bookstore (Canada’s national bookselling chain) and before crossing the road to get to my car, I did what a lot of us do, I looked left, then right, then left again before starting to cross.

It struck me that I was using a lesson that I was taught almost 29 years ago by my parents. Look both ways before crossing the street. Now, do I have a specific memory of being taught that? No, but I know I was. I know as an adult I’ve almost been hit several times when I didn’t heed this advice.

It got me thinking about how much we value or devalue the influence parents have on their chldren. As a society we seem to swing between to opposing viewpoints. If a teenager goes into a school and fires a gun, we ask ‘where were the parents?’ This is coupled however, with an opposing belief that that same teenager doesn’t care what their parents think and that parents no longer have any influence over their children.

What a terrible assumption. Thankfully, research is bearing this out to be a false assumption.

A recent study by the UK Department for Children, Schools, and Families found that three quarters of teens wish their parents would talk openly about sex. This runs contrary to the cultural perception that teens don’t want to listen to their parents and instead prefer to use celebrities and peers as their role models.

Also contrary to the popular image of the rebellious teenager, another study shows that teens who believed that their parents would strongly disapprove of smoking were less likely to become smokers than their peers who believed that neither parent would disapprove. And the effect of parental disapproval remained significant even if the parents were smokers themselves.

Finally, two more studies, one by the American Bible Scoiety and another by research group Child Trends, demosntrate that not only do parents have a significant role in developing a childs positive self-image, teens also look up to their parents far more then celebrities and athletes as role models.

So parents, don’t ever give up opportunities to educate, listen, and love your children. Even if they don’t act like it, they are listening.