I was walking out of a Chapters bookstore (Canada’s national bookselling chain) and before crossing the road to get to my car, I did what a lot of us do, I looked left, then right, then left again before starting to cross.

It struck me that I was using a lesson that I was taught almost 29 years ago by my parents. Look both ways before crossing the street. Now, do I have a specific memory of being taught that? No, but I know I was. I know as an adult I’ve almost been hit several times when I didn’t heed this advice.

It got me thinking about how much we value or devalue the influence parents have on their chldren. As a society we seem to swing between to opposing viewpoints. If a teenager goes into a school and fires a gun, we ask ‘where were the parents?’ This is coupled however, with an opposing belief that that same teenager doesn’t care what their parents think and that parents no longer have any influence over their children.

What a terrible assumption. Thankfully, research is bearing this out to be a false assumption.

A recent study by the UK Department for Children, Schools, and Families found that three quarters of teens wish their parents would talk openly about sex. This runs contrary to the cultural perception that teens don’t want to listen to their parents and instead prefer to use celebrities and peers as their role models.

Also contrary to the popular image of the rebellious teenager, another study shows that teens who believed that their parents would strongly disapprove of smoking were less likely to become smokers than their peers who believed that neither parent would disapprove. And the effect of parental disapproval remained significant even if the parents were smokers themselves.

Finally, two more studies, one by the American Bible Scoiety and another by research group Child Trends, demosntrate that not only do parents have a significant role in developing a childs positive self-image, teens also look up to their parents far more then celebrities and athletes as role models.

So parents, don’t ever give up opportunities to educate, listen, and love your children. Even if they don’t act like it, they are listening.

Ever heard someone say “no, were just friends”.

I have a number of friends who are woman. I count many of them as some of my closest and best friends.

On occasion either I, or they have said, “oh, were just friends”.

After being called upon to support some of these ‘just friends’ during some tough times and I having made similar demands on them, I have realized that there is no such thing as ‘just friends’.

To say that you’re ‘just friends’ while perhaps well intentioned is really an insult. It’s saying that being friends is somehow less important then being a romantic partner. (more…)

Wait a minute… I always heard “quitters never win and winners never quit”

So did I. Sounds good but perhaps not the greatest advice.

What do I mean you should quit? Well, what goal are you trying to achieve? What’s your burning desire?

What other activities are you also doing that are draining your energy and taking up space in your schedule?

This is where quitting comes in. In order to be totally focussed on your main objective you may need to quit, at least temporarily, some of your other activities.

I believe work-life balance is a lie. You can have perfect balance but it’s unlikely you’ll achieve excellence in any one area. It’s a matter of what you’ll be excellent at NOW. You may choose something else tomorrow.

So don’t be afraid to quit the things that don’t serve your ultimate purpose.

Recommended reading: The Dip by Seth Godin.

Technorati Tags: Seth Godin, success thru quitting, The Dip by Seth Godin

I’m just running out the door, but I wanted to thank all the mothers out there for all that you do. We love you and honour you.

I’ve been thinking a lot about trust. Specifically trust in business relationships.

My VA, Erin Blaskie, is building me a new website based on a blog platform. This required giving her access to my wordpress account, shopping cart, and domain management accounts.

I didn’t give it a second thought until yesterday. I didn’t think of it for any negative reason, it just occurred to me that I’ve put an enormous amount of trust in her by giving her access to some vital business systems.

Why would I do that and not even bat an eye? I think it comes down to what Stephen MR Covey calls the Speed of Trust. In the book by the same name he posits that Trust is the most important feature of any business relationship as it literally affects the speed of any transaction.

Basically:
Low trust makes things slower
High trust makes things faster

I met Erin through another colleague, Michael Port, who is a business author and coach. I’ve also had the chance to visit with her and talk and I’m glad to call her a friend. This creates a high trust relationship. So, when she asks me for access to a system relevant to the work we’re doing, I don’t even give it a second thought.

How is the trust in your business relationships? Do you take the time to cultivate positive emotions? I don’t me to suggest that you have to be on everyone’s Christmas card list, but do you have unwavering trust in the people you depend on, or do you feel you have to maintain complete control?

In my next post I will discuss the difference between Delegating and Abdicating which I think will help you let go some of your control issues, if you’re holding on so tight that your sub-contracts can’t operate at high speed.

Technorati Tags: Andrew Mugford, business relationship, blogging, blog website, blog platform, Erin Blaskie, virtual assistant, Business Services ETC, trust in business relationships

What is the lesson in this event?

There will be plenty of dissection in the days, weeks, and months to come… lots of monday morning quarterbacking, most of which will be useless and unwarranted.

The important lesson as I see it, is that it re-enforces that LOVE is the highest power in the universe and it is that which we must set as our ultimate calling. To treat each other as we would have ourselves be treated.

That isn’t just a statement of faith but rather a sound principle that would solve much of the worlds hurt if it was adopted by the masses.

Love one another. Practice forgiveness.

Love. It’s all that matters.

See also my friend Tshombe’s wonderful post on this.

Technorati Tags: Virginia Tech shootings, Virginia Tech tragedy, Virginia Tech, Tshombe

<Gasp> Yes, you read that right. I said, “Setting goals is a total waste of time!”

I know, everyone is telling you to set goals.

If you’ve fallen into that trap, my friend, I am glad you found this post. I’m here to dispel this most harmful of myths.

So, why do I believe setting goals is a total waste of your time, energy, and possibly money?

Simply put, because that’s all most people do. Most people set a goal and forget it. Perhaps they take one or two small actions towards achieving it, but most times that’s where it ends. So, in that case, setting the goal, getting hyped up and excited, and failing to achieve the goal, or make any measurable progress towards that goal SHOULD NOT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF!

Let me make this clear. YOU FAILED! Heck, admit it, you didn’t really even try that hard.

If you set a goal to lose weight and bought a year-long gym membership and only went twice, that whole exercise (pun intended) was a total, complete waste of your time, energy and money.

So please, if you’re going to set a goal, remember:
The Goal of Setting Goals is NOT to set goals, it is to ACHIEVE them!

Technorati Tags: Goal setting, setting goals, goals

We all have beliefs that guide our actions through life.

Some of these beliefs only serve to limit and hold us back from being the great people we are destined to be.

Sometimes these manifest themselves as ‘Ya, but’s!’.

You know: “I could do that but…” or, “I can’t do that because…”

We all have reasons NOT to do things. Our brain is expert at coming up with objections.

When these ‘ya but’s’ manifest themselves in your life write them down in your journal. Let them go. I also encourage you to write down ‘yes, I can’s’ beside them. Write down the reasons you CAN do it.

Take the power out of the ‘ya but’s’ in your life and you will grow!

Technorati Tags: Manifest, objections, journal, beliefs, actions

I was at a meeting the other day where I was reminded of a powerful life lesson.

One of the other ladies on this committee has been absent because her mother has been diagnosed with cancer.

She related how one day in the hospital she was feeling rather numb and getting into the elevator she accidentally pressed the wrong floor button.

The doors ended up opening onto the terminal cancer ward - for children!

She said she was struck by how calm and at peace these parents were. The acceptance in their childs fate and the desire to make the most of the remaining time.

She now makes it a point to visit that floor regularily.

Interesting. What are you upset at right now? If the parents of a dying child can project peace… can you get over being stuck in a traffic jam?

It is in the end that we remember how we should have been in the beginning.

Technorati Tags: Beginning, end, terminal cancer